I haven't had a man-made orgasm in at least 8 months. That's bad. Like really bad. When I was with the ex, I got the occasional "attention" I needed. But after awhile, I think we both gave up. Maybe that's why we failed...
Whatever. Point is, no guy since then has made my punani do the happy dance. All I've got is my handy dandy best-friend-in-times-of-need: my pocket rocket.
Okay, I've heard it before. "A vibrator cannot replace a man." Yes, I am very aware of it. In fact, I love man-made orgasms (I don't think I'd mind a woman-made orgasm either, but since I'm pretty much straight all of the time, I'll stick to "man made".) But something a man can't always give me is consistency. I can't rely on a man to ALWAYS give me an orgasm when I expect one. (Yes, I am one of those women that can't always have an orgasm. In fact, I am fairly sure there is only one way to get me to have one, and nobody has done that specific trick in awhile.) A vibrator knows what you like best: I know exactly where to put it and what to do with it to make it most effective. It's to the point, gets the job done with minimal effort, and I don't even have to kiss it when it's done.
Oh God. I'm one of those women. I'm in a relationship with my vibrator. Fuck.
No. This can't be. It's impossible. Absolutely impossible. I've been dating. I've been having sex. Just none of them involve orgasms. I'm not in a relationship with my vibrator, I'm just attached to it. Happens.
I've always been afraid to introduce it to a guy, a boyfriend, a fling, anything. I'm afraid introducing such a powerful little friend will fuck it up and I'll come to rely on it. I don't want to have threesomes every time. I'm a one man woman, and my vibrator is not invited to the party. But I've always wondered...
It's such a bad idea. Terrible. But the worse thing is that it's dying. My vibrator is dying. It is sad and eats up batteries... we're talking one a night, and I don't have rechargeables. Now that I think about it, that would be a wise investment. Note to self.
In other news, The Suit is playing games, I'm losing patience, and I've gone back to my faithful little friend. I guess I'm going to have to be okay with that for awhile. Damn you, Pocket Rocket. I can never let you go.
I need to have sex soon or my brain is going to explode. I'm not gonna lie, a good dicking is always better than a little buzz. Never anything wrong with that though. Nothing wrong with that at all.