Monday, July 28, 2008

Episode 8: The Self-Deprecator

Things have drastically changed and this guy and I have grown closer. Still as friends, but closer altogether.

But I've moved further... Moved out of New York for a job. And now I can't see him anymore.

However, we speak every day. I am curious to know who else he does that with, but there's no way to tell. Regardless, I feel special, and I treasure our correspondence even though sometimes it just includes "hey whats up" "nothing" "k". It's just nice to know you're being thought of sometimes. That's it, isn't it? You want to be on someone's mind. You want to be thought of. In his drunken stupor last night, he told me I had been thought of (over the day) "more than I'll ever know" which to me was kind of a loaded sentence...

Last night I also discovered he is really self-deprecating. He claims to be really open about it, but last time I had really seen him upset like that. It kind of scared me, but was also kind of endearing. I wish I could have opened up to him more, or really been there to talk him through this, but I wasn't. I can't. And for now, I'll just have to be there for him on the phone.

It's difficult to know where to go from here. I'm hoping my only option is "closer"...

1 comment:

just a girl... said...

good to know I am not the only person out there going through this. come by and say hi